


Tears Dry On Their Own

by orphan_account



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian AU, TW implied abusive relationship, TW implied drug/alcohol use, crystal has survivors guilt, it's sad but what else have you come to expect from me, major TWs, tw character death, tw implied self harm, tw implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25169554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Crystal’s dying.Gigi pretends she doesn’t notice.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Tears Dry On Their Own

**Author's Note:**

> No, i haven't abandoned the paramedic AU, but yes currently i am uninspired, so while i will my brain to produce some words for it you get this disgustingly sad crygi fic i wrote all in one go and that probably makes no sense <3\. Please please please read the TWs before you read, it's not a nice one x

Crystal’s dying.

Gigi pretends she doesn’t notice. She acts like the villain in the fairytale and Crystal just wants the fucking tiara to be put on her head so she can go peacefully, be the hideously tragic story that Disney would never tell.

Crystal was sad. Crystal was hurting out of every burn, every cut, every self-inflicted trauma wound and Gigi didn’t fucking _care._

‘You’re being overdramatic about this.’

‘Babe, it’s not that serious.’

‘Why would she be purposefully trying to scare you? Don’t be ridiculous, it’s just a coincidence.’

/

They started so sweet, meeting on Instagram like all the lesbians do. Life hadn’t been kind to either of them, but Crystal had been through an entire lifetime’s worth of agony and distress in 18 months, and she was left in a constant state of tears, just looking for someone to talk about this weeks episode of Drag Race with.

Gigi was a breath of fresh air. She was fun and happy and encouraging and everything they hadn’t been. Crystal was all sage and quartz; the aura that surrounded her whenever they messaged settled calmly over her, and she knew the witches weren’t out to trick her. Her cheeks flushed red when she was called baby and she listened to the voicemail Gigi had left her one night after she’d worked herself up to the point of hyperventilation and spelling errors like a new Lana song.

She felt safe.

Gigi felt safe. Slowly but surely Crystal began to open up, explain some of the reasons why she couldn’t look anyone in the eye, why she flinched at anything that could be seen as argumentative, why she’d never attend a standing concert again.

Showers of compliments and virtual hugs began pouring in from Gigi and Crystal was happy. Someone _believed_ her. Someone wanted to help her through it, show her what a real friendship (Friendship? Relationship?? An unlabelled bond between two people??) was supposed to feel like.

She began waking up easier, a shy smile gracing her face whilst checking her phone in the mornings, rather than wishing she’d died in her sleep and woke up surrounded by the angels and Amy and Whitney. She began to laugh, to make conversation, to send fluffy dog gifs to Gigi at stupid o’clock in the morning for her to wake up to. She began letting someone in. Telling someone that she wished she was dead most of the time, and the times she didn’t, she tended to not be aware enough to notice.

Crystal felt love, felt like she was enough for once in her life. No pretending, no hiding. But in reality, Gigi was just like that stupid bridge in the 2012 Tumblr post, the one about the rain and the car. A brief moment of peace, of silence. Before the storm came.

She doesn’t remember when it started, when the paragraphs stopped and the one sentence replies began, but she did know that with the combination of way too much intelligence, severe anxiety, and lack of anything else happening in her life that she sported, that Gigi had changed.

Conversations became shorter and more forced, and the distinct lack of good morning texts and notes of reassurance had not been lost on Crystal. Her past was kicking in and she was left wondering, what had changed? Was this, seriously, going to end in the same way as her past ones had? Would she be left, humiliated and emotionally stripped on a metaphorical sidewalk, having to stumble home in the pissing rain?

She didn’t deserve that. She did the right thing.

She might have deserved it, at times when she was bad, but getting out of there was necessary.

Was it?

Why did she leave? No wonder Dahlia broke up with her, she was bad, bad, so fucking _bad._

It’s raining and it’s far too easy, but it calls to her and she’s easily influenced.

She doesn’t take an umbrella, suspects she won’t need it.

Turns out she was right all along.

_Gigi,_

_Thank you for the best 3 months of my life._

_Thank you for the support, the encouragement, the love. Thank you for reassuring me through panic attacks and reading my shitty novels._

_Thank you for showing me what real love is supposed to feel like._

_I don’t know where it went wrong, what I did that made you change._

_I’m so sorry that life made you get stuck to me, that it couldn’t just give you someone mentally stable and fun. Because it was never your fault._

_I’ll always love you._

_Crys x_


End file.
